ArchivedAging
Joke

When I was in my younger days,
I weighed a few pounds less,
I needn’t hold my tummy in
To wear a belted dress.

But now that I am older,
I’ve set my body free;
There’s comfort of elastic
Where once my waist would be.

Inventor of those high-heeled shoes
My feet have not forgiven;
have to wear a nine now,
But used to wear a seven.

And how about those pantyhose—
They’re sized by weight, you see,
So how come when I put them on,
The crotch is at my knees?

I need to wear these glasses
As the prints were getting smaller;
And it wasn’t very long ago
I know that I was taller.

Though my hair has turned to silver
and my skin no longer fits,
On the inside, I’m the same old me,
Just the outside’s changed a bit.